Wednesday, September 12, 2012

It Doesn't Cost Me to Be Nice


Whenever I think about kindness, a song from the musical Les Miserables comes to mind. It's the part where the innkeeper says, "It doesn't cost me to be nice."

Although he is being sarcastic because he's trying to milk his guests of every last cent, the words themselves hit home.


Kindness really is free. It has a much greater rate of return than meanness or gossip or exclusion or withholding a compliment. Why poison ourselves trying to push others down when we can so easily lift them?

“Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind; and the third is to be kind.” 
― Henry James

“No one has ever become poor by giving.” 
― Anne Frankdiary of Anne Frank

“For Attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
 For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
 For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
 For beautiful hair, let a child run their fingers through it once a day.
 For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone. 
 People, more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms.
 As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself and the other for helping others.” 
― Sam Levenson

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.” 
― Plato

Why does our society struggle so much with kindness? Or does it?

Are we a kind people? Do you have a story of kindness you'd like to share?

Link up to The Kindness Project at Elana Johnson's blog.


24 comments:

  1. I love that quote from Henry James! Totally putting it on my board for my students next week. :)

    And you're right. Kindness costs nothing, and the effects can be priceless. Thanks for this!

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    1. Thanks for your comment, Alison. Henry James pretty much says it all with that quote.

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  2. I love what you say, Julie: Kindness really is free. Mmmm. Mmmm. Can't say it any better than that.

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  3. great post. one that really should be applied to real life. just be kind, the world is a better place when you are.

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    1. Better for the recipient of our kindness AND better for us! Thanks Prerna.

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  4. I love all the quotes, too, and I think/hope that most people want to be kind, even if they're not always successful at it. Unfortunately, I don't think our society values kindness as much as it should. Prerna is right; the world is a better better place when we are kind and if more people would try, why, just imagine...

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    1. I agree that kindness is undervalued in our society. Some even seem to think it a weakness.

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  5. I think our society struggles hard with kindness because deep down inside, many people actually hate other people. Hence why we have discrimination, why we have exclusion, why we have contempt, and why we have wars. If people could just learn to love one another, a lot of the world's evils will go away. But there's difficult emotions getting in the way. Hannibel Lecter said it best in the movie "Silence of the Lambs". He said to Clarice, "We covet what we see every day." Yes...humans covet. And out of that singular thing comes hatred.

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    1. It seems there are so many undercurrent emotions that lead to unkindness. Coveting, selfishness, and sometimes I even think low self-esteem. And sadly, it so often leads to hatred.

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  6. Love the quotes! Thanks for sharing the kindness!

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  7. I don't know...I think it's human nature to be selfish. A sort of survival instinct maybe. "Me first." Kindness can feel a bit costly sometimes because it often means putting others first. But we're more evolved than that, right? We know survival is more than just looking out for number one. Kindness enhances who we are as a society, makes us better people and could lead to a more stable, secure future for ourselves if we all practiced it. Certainly we don't think of things at that level every time we act, but I think that's what it boils down to. But giving doesn't have to mean losing. There's a practice in the military (marines I think?) where individuals don't look out for themselves. They look out for their partners, knowing that someone else is looking out for them. Maybe I got that from a Nicholas Sparks book. Not sure. LOL But the idea is still valid. We can't look both behind us and in front of us, but someone behind us can. Being kind is kind of like that, I think. Not only does it make you feel like someone's got your back,but the act of kindness bonds you to another in a way nothing else can.

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    1. It's nice to hope we are more evolved than that! Thank you for this thoughtful comment. I like the idea of having another person to watch my back.

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  8. You are one of the kindest, most giving, most selfless people I have ever known.

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  9. Good questions. Shouldn't be that hard, but I sure struggle with it. I think most of it boils down to selfishness, which is a hard thing to beat.

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  10. I was raised to opened doors for folks, tell them thank you and the yes sirs and no maams, but it seems that the world has lost that bit of kindness. I know there are times when I open a door for someone and they look at me with confussion, as if an alien had just landed at their feet and slid the door open for them. Here in Afghanistan it seems different. The other day a little girl was crying on the side of the road because her goats escaped her watch and made their way into a farmers field. I got out of my truck and handed her a small bag of Cheetos and tried to tell her everything was ok. She looked at me a bit untrusting but took that bag but some adults that were standing near by smiled and placed their right hand over their hearts which is a sign of respect or thank you here. It made me feel good and it made the girl quit crying. Maybe it is just Americans who have forgotten to be nice and take a bit of time out of their day to say thank you or hold a door for someone.

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    1. TJ, what a great example you are. I feel grateful that there are soldiers like you representing America in such a kind and uplifting way. You be careful and keep yourself safe!

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  11. The quotes were wonderful. I was especially touched by Anne Frank's words. I suspect that's because I was recently in the home that sheltered her in Amsterdam, and after that experience any words written by that girl have a major impact.

    I'm here from the Kindness Project to say hi to a fellow KP blogger.

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  12. It seems that even people who believe in kindness during political campaigns. It brings out such vehemence in people that we forget to be kind. I heard a great quote "Promote what you love instead of bashing what you hate." I try and remember that when I start feeling angry. I love all the quotes you put up. It's been a while since I've read some of those. Here's to days filled with loveliness and kindness.

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